blarg, I say...


Have been feeling low key (Loki?) and way down lately. Ever since that wedding I photographed went wrong I have wanted to do little more than just say "fuck it." And that is what I have been doing.

Still have two photo assignments that have been sitting in the bucket for the last three months or so and I have absolutely no desire to finish them off. One, a head shot, I will be kicking back to the opera singer who wanted it done along with her refund. I simply do not want to do it. And as for the KSO pictures... well I have been looking at them and doing initial resizings but that is about all. Shit, I don't even want to touch them.

Photography is just very draining right now. I don't really want to do it - at least not for anyone else. When the only person you want to please is you, you are in for a rough time. But when you have to please yourself and someone else then you are really tee-totally screwed.

Have been thinking about what I want to do with pictures, and it isn't much. The only thought I have now is to clear everything off my plate and then just take the occasional black and white photo. Right now the most attractive model for this is the local coal burning power plant. I want to photo it on a cloudy day, a billowy cloudy day. A black and white of that would just exhale bleakness and that is just fine with me right now.


I live for moments like this...

If there is one thing I love it's watching examples of the upstanding being like the lowlifes they condemn.

And here they are, all collected in one place for easy viewing!

Visit these guys for more.

Well, ain' that a bitch part II...

Hmmmm... my plan for some quality dentist time has hit a snag. Seems my dentist is out of her office till at least Monday.

I guess I can understand why a person who makes good money as a dentist would take a whole week off for a national holiday. This does leave me a little confused though. She's from India. While I am glad she celebrates the thankfulness theme I wish she could do it the All-American way with a four day weekend instead of taking an imperialist 9 day weekend.

Tis time to check the PPO and see if there is another dentist who can handle this.


Well, this is certainly unpleasant... Which is why I share it with you :)

Guess it's off to the dentist after work for some emergency work.


this wasn't my day...

but it sure as fuck could have been...

Shannon's Funeral...

Linda and I went to Shannon's funeral yesterday. Perhaps what surprised me most was the lack of people from "the old days" that were there. Of the entire My Place crowd (the coffee house when meeting Shannon as a customer about 10 years ago) only three were in attendance - Mandy, Sharon and Jonathon. We had some disagreement over whether Joey had come. I thought I saw him on left side of the room but the others said he couldn't have been there. Oh, wait, Sarah had come also, but sat in another row.

The others were curious about what happened to him - some of us had speculations, but no one actually knew. Being the crass one it was up to me to ask the question of someone who knew. So I approached the two non-family members who had taken the podium and asked them what had happened.

Seems that Shannon had been in real pain over the last several months (at least). To help control it doctors had implanted a device to release morphine into his system. Later, Shannon started experiencing chest tightness. After a few weeks to a month of this he went to see his doctor. Turns out he had pneumonia. From what was said, I get the idea that somehow the pneumonia and the morphine device were related.

Doctors elected to open him up again and put in some second device/replace the original device. It was while on the operating table for this second operation that he died due to cardiac arrest.

The two non0family members who spoke at his funeral were friends of his from the Root River Poets, a group he has joined in the last year. For along time while I knew him he carried a notebook and was always writing something in it. That something turned to poetry, or maybe always was. I'm just glad that he found a way to get his thoughts from page to people.

There was a poem he wrote on the memorial that was available at the funeral. It's not down here with me to quote from, but damn it was good. If time permits later it'll find its way onto the page here.

Time for work - gotta go.



Shannon Sondergaard, age 34. Funeral this Saturday in Racine, Nov. 6, St. Mary's Medical Center, Maresh-Meredith and Acklam Funeral Home, Racine. The time I believe is 2 pm. but you'll need to check that yourselves. See you there.


Mukasey Is (Much) Worse Than Gonzales

Caught this link from an op-ed piece in The Nation today. The title of the article is the title of this entry. Here's a sample bit -
Consider the nominee's suggestion that the president can ignore any law, including the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, if he and his lawyers determine that the law impinges on his authority as commander in chief during wartime.

Groovy... we didn't need that Constitution/Bill of Rights/Rule of Law anyhow. Way to parse things down!


I do not plan on voting for Hillary

Looking back on the prosperity of the nineties it seems to me much of it was uncovered in the beginning of the Bush era as merely shoddy accounting by the Enrons and World Coms. How much real growth there was seems suspect to me. Plus there was that whole Clinton promise one thing/deliver something much different thing that drove me to the Greens in '96 and '00.

I like Edwards for at least two reasons - first he seems to actually be concerned with the plight of the working class.

The second reason I like him is due to negative campaign ads like this -


DIY/DIFY (do it yourself/do it for yourself)

It has been a most trying month and a half, but it is almost over. At least the work part. As for the other stuff, well so it goes and goes and goes...

This last wedding I photographed is the first one of the seven or so I've done where things just all fell apart. The shortest version of why may also be the most forgiving version for everyone's collective part. suffice it to say that I bride and I weren't compatible.

Ultimately though it was a combination of hubris and loosing touch with my inner asshole that did me in. I felt I could do everything at once, and even worse, I felt i could do it on their terms. I should have stuck to my normal wedding photography routine and simply refused to do the wedding the first two times they asked. On the third my normal response is to say "OK, but we do it my way." That is perhaps the one and only way to get paid for what I do best, which is being myself.

As it sets, I have to edit about 6 more pictures, put them on disk and ship them out with the prints I have already had printed up. From there the bride will be sending a letter letting me know how much of a refund she thinks she is due. Then we see what happens from there.

My mentor has told me to give her a token refund and let her swallow the rest (those are my words not his, and I may be misunderstanding), but this is a friend's new sister-in-law so that will not do.

At this point it is appropriate to ask what I have learned from this fiasco. Well, for one thing I have learned to tell people "No" when they offer money (a lessons my parents tried to teach me concerning strangers and candy) no matter how much ego may be involved. The bitterness in my heart at this point begs that I add it is also appropriate to spit on and laugh at them at the same time.

From here I have to finish the symphony pictures, the hafla pictures and cancel out on the nude art show. Me thinks that the anarchist's artist lifestyle may just be for me.